My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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