my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
