Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
