i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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