I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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