You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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