Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I love you. Go after that dick
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
