so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
