his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
