I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
