living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
