Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
