i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
