If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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