Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
