Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
