Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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