Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
