I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
