I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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