Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
