allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
