we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
