i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
