He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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