Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
