its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
