Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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