It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
As shirtless as possible
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
