i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
