just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
there's paper in my vomit.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
