wat bout pragnant strippers??
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
