New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
