Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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