thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
