My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
