People in love make me want to vomit
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
