Capitaan dildo arrescate!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
