i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
