Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
