sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize