i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize