So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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