idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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