Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
