do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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