My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
