Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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