i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize