You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
