Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize