Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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