that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize