You smell like a Billy Joel song
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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