My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
