hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
