apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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