Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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