he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
