2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
where are my eyebrows?
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