Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize